Get Her Back: The No Contact Rule In 3 Simple Steps

Most men agree that getting dumped by your girlfriend is one of life’s biggest downers. But if you want to get her back, cheer up, there’s hope! After twenty years on the dating scene I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t when trying to get your ex back.

If you understand three simple rules about human nature, you’ll gain a powerful advantage over your ex. First you’ll discover how these rules work, then I’ll map out for you how to use them to get her back by going “No Contact”. (And you won’t have to waste all the time I did!) I’m proof that any breakup can turn out happily, and am now married to the love of my life for 11 years.

By the way, this article is long but worth the READ!! I get yelled at a lot for being wordy but in this case the words could save your relationship. So get a cup of coffee and read on…

Rule of Human Nature #1: We Typically Want What We Can’t Have.

Look at it this way: Someone offers you a jar of jelly beans and tells you, “take all the jelly beans you like except the red ones. Keep your hands off the red ones. And I’ve got my eye on you.”

Now quick, which jelly beans do you want? Aha! See what I mean?

Rule of Human Nature #2: Routines Can Turn Into Ruts.

Listen carefully: Many, many relationships end simply because someone interprets the “thrill” fading away as a sign they’re no longer in love. It’s totally normal as things start to fall into a routine that those feelings of wonder and excitement taper off. And things get kinda familiar and predictable.

So just because the fireworks have ended and she’s not fainting at the sight of you, your ex may have decided there’s something better out there.

Rule Of Human Nature #3: A Running Rabbit Speeds Up When He’s Chasing a Carrot

Yeah, the rule works for humans too. Imagine that your friend who gave you the jelly beans says he’ll be keeping an eye on you, but every now and then he leaves the room. You try to fight the urge, but you figure it’s worth a shot. You reach for the prize. Your fingers wrap around the red jelly bean and…your friend comes back and shouts, “drop it!!!” Arghh. You almost had the prize, and it slipped away! Now you REALLY want to get that jelly bean!

You’ve just revealed Rule #3: The thing we can’t have is never quite as intriguing as the thing that hovers JUST OUT OF REACH. It comes so close you can see it, smell it, almost taste it…and then it runs off again.

How To Use The Three Rules to Get Her Back

Rule 1: No Contact NOW (You Are Now A Red Jelly Bean)

The first step to get her back is make her believe that you’re fine with breaking up and that she no longer has access to you. So you start to reel her back in by going “No Contact” as soon as possible. Your ex will not have access to you at all. Don’t phone her. Don’t text her. And to make your life easier, don’t even LOG IN to Facebook for at least 30 days. You are now a red jelly bean. You will not only freak your ex out, but also give her a chance to miss you, think about you, and wonder where you are and what you’re doing.

Rule 2: Ex Boyfriend Version 2.0 (You’re New and Improved)

Your ex associates the “old you” with a relationship she didn’t want or maybe even got bored with. So do something to shake things up. So use your no contact period to make yourself “new and improved”. Take up a new sport. Or go on a wild adventure (take plenty of pictures!). Do something she could never get you to do while you two were together and make sure she finds out. (It’ll drive her nuts). Is there something you did that really bugged her? Change it. For example, if she hated that you sat around playing X Box all the time, get your butt of the couch. The next time she sees you you’ll be looking hot from all that time you’re now spending at the gym.

Bottom line, don’t be the same old predictable you. (Maybe she got bored!) If you want to get her back, show signs that you’ve changed and it will be hard for her not to notice when you see each other again. But please DON’T go calling her to tell her you’ve changed. Red Jelly Beans don’t beg.

Rule #3: Dangling the Carrot

At the end of 30 days, it’s time to start dangling yourself in front of your ex! Really we refer to this as “low contact” since there is SOME contact involved but it’s very carefully orchestrated to keep her feeling she wants more.

Make brief contact now and then, but always act like you’re busy and a wee bit distracted. Be upbeat, act nice, give her some clues about what you’ve been doing, but don’t connect all the dots for her; you want her to be curious. Keep conversations light and don’t bring up things about the relationship or trying to get her back. Just tell her you wanted to say hi and see how she’s been, and to get her caught up on what’s up with you.

If she hasn’t called you during that first 30 days, your first call to her will simply be to say hi and check in. Creating curiosity could also involve posting some pics on Facebook of you having fun with new friends. Maybe even have a very attractive female “friend” in there (heck, she could be someone’s sister who came along for the ride but your ex won’t need to know that).

Don’t actually lie, but do try to stir her imagination. You might drop hints to your ex that you’re up to something really big (a triathelon? working toward a promotion? planning a fun trip?) Start to tell her about it but then notice the time and say that you’ll have to finish your story another time. What you’re doing is creating mystery and intrigue. That’ll get her thinking about you because she has unanswered questions in her mind.

Important!: Whenever you connect, allow no more than fifteen minutes of contact, then rush off to something important that you have to do. Just don’t say what it is. Do NOT get sucked into a long conversation at this stage.

And if she calls or texts, don’t text right back. A day or two will keep you from looking too eager. You don’t want to look desperate and you certainly don’t want her to think you’ve been sitting around waiting for her call. Over the next few weeks you can start to ramp up the amount of time you “allow” your ex to spend with you, and before you know it, you two are dating again. Follow the plan without messing up and it works almost like magic.

CRITICAL INFO About The No Contact Rule:

* Not contacting your ex can feel like withdrawing from a drug. It’ really, really hard. Ask me how I know! I feel your pain. But just like an addict can’t have just a little bit of heroin, start communicating with your ex too soon and you lose control. The no contact rule works if you think of it as a means to an end.

* Your ex may try to contact you before the no contact period is over, but you must NOT give her the reward of making a connection. The one thing you’ll allow yourself to do is send a letter by snail mail saying you’re in a good space with the breakup and taking time for yourself right now. That’s all. Don’t send email or text (they don’t carry as much weight as a physical letter).

* If she thinks you’re easy, if she knows you’re waiting in the wings, if you’re willing to ask “how high” every time she says “jump”, then your ex will figure she can just keep you on tap for her convenience. Always keep rule #1 in mind: The more she thinks she can’t have you, the more she will miss and want you. It’s human nature!

I hope you’ve found this article both enlightening and informative. There are a number of sites and articles that can tell you more about about how to get her back and avoid the most deadly breakup mistakes.

Get My Boyfriend Back – 6 Ways Back Into His Heart

Ending a relationship is hard, particularly when calling it quits wasn’t your idea. Regardless of who initiated the breakup, if your number one queston is how do I get my boyfriend back there’s still hope for a happy reunion. But you must have a plan.

Before We Begin:

I know you might be at a low point and convinced that making up with him is the only way to make it all better. Thoughts like these are common, everyone has them. But it doesn’t always mean that the two of you were a match made in heaven. Sometimes getting over him is best. Think carefully about what you were like as a couple and why you split up and you may come to see that your ex caused you pain.

If you’ve carefully thought it through and truly believe you want to get your ex boyfriend back then here is how I suggest you plan your next few weeks. I speak from experience because I went through my own cycle of breakups and makeups for twenty years and have been where you are repeatedly. Rest assured, this is not theory. It’s real life advice that works!

Step 1. Before you can fix your relationship, you have to figure out what went wrong to begin with. There are always issues and there are always ways to deal with them. Don’t just make this about your ex. love involves two people and although the blame might weigh more heavily on one partner, both of you have to take responsibility for your actions. Take a good hard look at yourself before you start blaming everything on your ex.

Step 2. Visualize success. Chances are you’re familiar with the laws of attraction. The idea is, what you focus on is what you attract. If you allow negative thoughts to creep in and start thinking this will never work, you’re focusing on the opposite of what you want.

What you want to do is take a few minutes before you get up every day and imagine your life two months from now. The two of you are a couple again. Fantasize about how it feels to have him hold you again, the things he says to you, the happy times you share, and the plans you’re making. Make it as real as possible.

Now go through the day with confidence that things will all work out. You’ll be amazed at how those positive thoughts will work for you. Even if somehow you DON’T succeed with this get my boyfriend back plan, you’re sure to attract positive events and people into your life.

Step 3. Don’t be in his face and don’t keep bugging him to “talk about it”. One of the key pieces to the get my boyfriend back plan is getting this: men (and especially men!) like their space and aren’t cool with a woman who won’t grant any!

So don’t be that kind of partner. Show him you’re fine with being on your own and give him some distance from you. Have ONE discussion with him and state your reasons for getting back together. Talk to him about why the two of you were great together and how you’re willing to work out your differences. Then step away and let him think things over. If your ex comes back to you, you want him to feel it was his idea, not yours.

Step 4. There’s a much better chance that you’ll become a “how I managed to get my boyfriend back” succcess story if you’re putting your best foot forward. After a breakup it’s tempting to neglect yourself, especially if you’re feeling down. Heck, once we get comfortable in a relationship we often relax our standards for our peronal appearance. You may have gotten out of shape or stopped “dressing to impress.” But now would be a good time to hit the gym, get on a healthy diet, and make sure you wear clothes that flatter. Look as good as you did when he first laid eyes on you, or even better.

Step 5. Don’t let your quest to win him back become an obsession. That makes your life revolve around HIM and you need to have a life of your own. Living for another person or feeling as though you’re not complete without your boyfriend is a red flag for low self esteem. Love and respect yourself, and others will too.

So make it a priority to take care of YOU first. For example,, if I was working to get my boyfriend back today, I’d take time out to find hobbies and interests that I enjoy. Spend time with friends and family. Find ways to have fun and get out there! No pining by the phone or listening to sad love songs.

Step 6. So you’ve followed your plan and now your boyfriend is starting to come around Congratulations. The most important thing you can do now is make sure history doesn’t repeat itself.

As many times as I’ve managed to get my boyfriend back in my dating history, I’ve also managed to blow it by falling into the same destructive habits I had before we broke up. The most successful couples aren’t the ones with the most in common; they’re the ones who are best at settling their differences.

So don’t do what I did. Instead, avoid the problems that brought on the breakup by keeping open, constructive communication going between the two of you. Clearly express your needs and expectations for each other and keep anger and blame out of the equation. Not only will you stay together but your relationship will be better than ever.

I hope you’ve found this article both enlightening and informative. There are a number of sites and articles that can tell you more about about how to get my boyfriend back and avoid the most deadly breakup mistakes.

How To Win Love Back By Doing The Unexpected

There’s a secret to how to win love back and it’s suprisingly simple. But it’s probably not what you’re expecting. While the relationship coaches describe many facets to the process, such as self improvement, the no contact rule, provoking jealousy, dirty psychological secrets, and the like, it really onlycomes down to one thing and it works remarkably well.

And the secret is…

Agree with your partner’s decision.

That’s right, if they want to break up, agree with it. If they want to see other people, agree with it. If they want to move to the North Pole, tell em it’s a great idea. Heck, call them a cab and tell them to have a nice trip.

This will totally blow them away and here’s why…

Your ex aniticipated an arguement.
They were expecting you to be upset.
He or she was expecting you to feel hurt and angry.
They thought you’d pour on the guilt and blame.
Or maybe you’d even go off the deep end

But that’s not at all how to win love back. That’s how you chase it farther away.

When you defy their expectations, something snaps in your exes head and it literally wipes their emotional slate clean. They kinda reboot their brain and think, “wait a minute, is this really what I want?” “It’s possible my ex is wrong and we SHOULD be in love or we SHOULDN’T see other people or I SHOULD’T join the Peace Corp”.

There your ex sits, ready for an arguement. Ready to bear down even harder to hold their position. They may have even rehearsed their arugment in their head.

But instead you’re behaving all relaxed and self assured and in control and absolutley agreeing with them! So what is your ex supposed to do with all that resistance they’ve been holding on to so tightly, now that you don’t give a hoot?

See, the more you resist what your ex wants the more he or she will insist on it. The more persistant you become, the more you push your ex away. But the more you AGREE with the breakup, the more your ex will tend to react by trying to prove you wrong! Act happy, put on a strong front, (worry about how you really feel later!) and agree with your ex.

And if you’ve already messed up and fought them on their decision, just go back and, tell your ex you’ve had some time cool off and realize they’re absolutely right.

Congratulations. You’ve discovered the key to how to win love back by happily agreeing to let it go!

I hope you’ve found this article about how to get your ex back both enlightening and informative. There are a number of sites and articles that can tell you more about how to get your ex back.

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